


Aliens in the District

by kiss_me_cassie



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), The West Wing
Genre: Crack Crossover, Crossover, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Implied Relationships, Sam might be gay, West Wing is my gateway drug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-16
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2018-04-12 23:47:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4499469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiss_me_cassie/pseuds/kiss_me_cassie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Andrew Jackson, in the main foyer of his White House, had a big block of cheese. The block of cheese was huge–over two tons. And it was there for any and all who might be hungry.</i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  <i>Leo, wouldn’t this time be better spent plotting a war against a country that can’t possibly defend itself against us?</i></p>
<p> </p>
<p>  <i>We can do that later, Toby. Right now I’m talking about President Andrew Jackson.</i></p>
<p> </p>
<p>  <i>Actually, right now, you’re talking about a big block of cheese.</i></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>A typical Cheese Day that goes slightly askew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meet Our Heroes

**Author's Note:**

> Over a decade ago, Yana and I wrote a silly piece we nicknamed [BuffyWing](http://yanatya.dreamwidth.org/4903.html) and we had a blast. So much so that when we both got into New!Who, we planned out this. Well, I did, with the hope of convincing her to go in with me. Anyhoo… it sat for a while (a long while) on my hard drive while my brain short-circuited at the awesomeness of women named Donna and lots of real life happened. Then I got back into fanfic after a long time away and I decided to finally get around to finishing it. Thus, a crazy crossover was _finally_ born.

"Where are we?" Jack asked as the TARDIS came to a halt on solid ground. "Or better yet… when?"

The Doctor frowned as he looked at the console. "Washington. Early 21st century."

"21st century? Weren't we aiming for 1776?"

"Maybe. Maybe not. The TARDIS seems to have a mind of its own on where we belong," the Doctor muttered, as he flicked a switch here and twirled a knob there. The TARIDS didn't budge. He looked up at Jack and Rose, who were watching him curiously, then grinned manically. "But we're here now. Might as well take a quick peek and see who or what's about. Who wants to meet the neighbors?" he asked, rubbing his hands together in gleeful anticipation.

Rose pushed past him to look at the view screen on the console and gasped when she saw the large, imposing mansion displayed on it. "Doctor! That's the _White House_ over there! We can't just go strolling in like we own the place," she protested as she whirled back around to face him.

"Why ever not?" he asked, grinning. "It's the home of American Democracy, yeah? So… we'll pop in, have a bit of a visit, show them we're all friendly-like, then leave."

"You're forgetting the part where we do a little detecting and find out why the TARDIS brought us here in the first place," Jack interjected dryly, as he finished strapping a miniature gun to his ankle and donned his coat.

The Doctor made a face at him. "I simply hadn't gotten to that part yet."

Rose tugged at the Doctor's sleeve to reclaim his attention. "Doctor, we can't just 'pop in.' They've got rules and regulations and stuff about who can go in and all. They could _shoot_ us."

"So we'll let Jack shoot back," he said, grinning as he threw open the TARDIS door and ushered Rose out ahead of him.

"Not to worry," Jack said, slinging an arm around each of them. "We've got psychic paper, remember? A little smile here, a flash of paper there… we're in like Flynn."

"Like Flynn?" Rose asked, confused,

"Old American saying," Jack explained, grinning broadly. "Means we won't have any problems."

~~~

"You know what, Miss Moss? Let's open up the house in Dubai. I feel like throwing a party," Josh said as he pushed away from his desk and leaned back in his chair.

Donna rolled her eyes and maneuvered around him to straighten the files he'd left scattered across his desk. "You've been watching Iron Man again, haven't you?"

"You betcha!" Josh said, linking his hands behind his head and leaning back even farther.

"Don't you think three times in one week is enough?"

"Nope." When she looked at him doubtfully, he added, "Tony Stark's a billionaire with a giant collection of cool, expensive gadgets to play with, a mass of robots to do his bidding, and a pretty, young assistant who does all the hard work."

"No kidding. During your multiple viewings, did you happen to notice how he bought his said assistant expensive gifts to compensate her for all her hard work?" she asked pointedly.

"I noticed how she bought _herself_ expensive gifts using _his_ credit card," Josh said.

" _Your_ assistant wouldn't have to buy herself gifts with _your_ credit card if you'd just pay her more."

"Working for me should be reward enough."

"Working for you should earn me hazard pay," she grumbled as she nearly tripped over his backpack, which was lying in the middle of the floor. She stopped straightening and looked him in the eye. "I deserve a raise."

"And you'll get one," Josh told her. "Eventually."

"I bet Miss Potts got regular raises."

"Yeah, well, you're no Pepper Potts."

"And you're certainly no Tony Stark," Donna retorted.

Josh didn't even bother to acknowledge the barely veiled barb. "Yeah, I'm missing the cool metal suit."

"That's not all you're missing," she muttered darkly as she went back to organizing.

"I wonder if I could get the Department of – What did you just say?"

"Your schedule," she replied, smiling sweetly. "I said you were missing your schedule."

"No, you didn't. You implied that I'm miss–"

"Do you want your schedule for today or not?" she interrupted, unwilling to delve into all the things he was and was not missing regarding the Pepper and Tony relationship.

"Not," he promptly answered. When she rolled her eyes at him for the second time, he sighed. "Fine. What have you got for me?"

"You've got Tribbey at nine, the budget review at nine thirty, and your Cheese meeting at eleven."

His chair came crashing onto all four legs at that. "Cheese meeting?"

"Yes," she answered, peering over at him in exasperation. "Haven't you been paying attention all week?"

"I paid attention to the important parts!" When she frowned, he added defensively, "C'mon! Tony Stark! Metal suit! Stripper poles!"

"One of these days, you're going to miss something really important."

"No, I won't. And if I do, I'll have you to fill me in."

She glared at him disapprovingly and until he relented. "Ok, fine. Tell me, oh wise one who listens at all meetings, what is my Cheese assignment this month?"

"I'm not sure I want to tell you now."

"Yes, you do."

"No, I don't. I should let you go in there uninformed and then get blindsided."

"But you'd never do that to me."

"Fine," she huffed. "It’s the Group for the Preservation of History in Books."

"Easy!" Josh said, smirking. "We've already got that – It's called the Library of Congress. Next?"

"I don’t think– "

"In fact, _you_ can explain how that works to them. I'll just scratch that meeting right off the list," he said, reaching for her notepad and pencil. "Then I'll have time for-"

"Not so fast," she said snatching her pad back. "It's the Group for the Preservation of History _in_ Books."

His brow furrowed in annoyance at her persistence. "Right. So-"

" _In_ books," she repeated firmly. "According to their statement, they 'persevere in downloading as many people, places and things as possible into online book formats in an effort to preserve dwindling and near extinct ideas and objects for the enjoyment and education of future generations.' In other words, they want to download the polar bears into a computer to save them from extinction."

"So when you say 'in books'…"

"I mean _in_ books."

"That's…"

"Ingenious?"

"Insane!"

"Welcome to Cheese Day," Donna snorted. "Eleven sharp. And you better be there. I refuse to take your meeting like I did last month. Those crazy pro-grow people tried to make me drink that green stuff!"

"It was a vegetable supplement, Donna! You like vegetables!"

"Not in liquid form, I don't," she retorted. "Eleven, Josh. I mean it. If you miss this…"

"I already said I'd be there! Stop nagging!"

"I'm not –"

"Hey, am I missing something?" CJ asked from the doorway.

Josh and Donna's heads both swiveled around towards her.

"Josh is trying to avoid his Cheese meeting," Donna explained.

"I am not!"

"Yes, you are."

"Not."

CJ snorted softly. "So I'm just missing the daily JoshnDonna show?"

"Yes," they answered simultaneously.

CJ glanced curiously between them, opened her mouth to speak, shut it, and then opened it again. "Do you two even realize…" She stopped and shook her head. "Never mind. I did have a purpose for coming in here - Did either of you happen to notice a big, blue Police Public Call Box on Pennsylvania Avenue this morning?"

"What the hell is a Police Public Call Box?" Josh asked.

"I don't know! But that's what it said, right on the side -- 'Police Public Call Box'."

"Are DC's finest trying something new?"

"I don't know, Josh, why don't you call the honourable member from DC and find out?"

"Eleanor Holmes Norton would eat me for breakfast if I dared. In fact, she promised to do exactly that the last time I asked her something this inane and _you _promised I wouldn't have to--"__

"Fine, stop whining. I'll find out myself." 

She was about to turn around and leave when Donna piped up. "A police box? Like the kind that used to be in London?" she asked, confused. 

CJ paused and stared at Donna. "You actually know what I'm talking about?" 

Donna shrugged. "Police Call Boxes were a regular sight in London and other British cities in the late 19th and early 20th century. They got rid of them when telephones and two-way radios became the norm." 

__"How the hell do you know what a Police Box is?" Josh asked._ _

__She shrugged again. "I like to read."_ _

__"Yeah, which makes you an excellent candidate for my cheese meeting."_ _

__"Which you will be taking at eleven o'clock sharp."_ _

__"Which I have just now decided you are going to accompany me –"_ _

__"Excuse me, kids, but can we get back to the big blue box that was on Pennsylvania Avenue this morning and decidedly _not_ in London?"_ _

__"How did you even run across this Police Box, CJ?"_ _

__"It was there on the sidewalk when I walked to work this morning."_ _

__Josh smirked. "You walked to work?"_ _

__CJ glared at him. "I walked to work!" At his still disbelieving look, she amended. "Fine, on my way from the Metro station. There it was, big as day - a big, blue police box. Right on the corner of Pennsylvania. One minute, nothing but the trash bin and a newspaper dispenser and then… POOF! Police box."_ _

__Josh raised an eyebrow at her description. "Poof?"_ _

__"Ok, maybe not poof. It's _possible_ I may have been distracted by a messenger riding by on his bike."_ _

__"Oh! The one from TrueFast? With the blue uniform and the calves?" Donna asked, her eyes lighting up._ _

__CJ nodded. "Yes, exactly! And this morning he had on-"_ _

__Josh snorted, interrupting their gushing. "If we could get back to the mysterious police box?"_ _

__"Right. One minute… nothing but me, the messenger and a trash bin. The next there's a loud whooshing, grinding noise and some wind. Then… Poof! Police Public Call Box, right in front of me."_ _

__"I'm sorry, CJ," Donna said, grabbing a folder from Josh's desk. "But Josh, your thing with Tribbey starts in five minutes."_ _

__"Tribbey?" CJ asked, looking perplexed._ _

__"Yeah," Josh answered, as he stood up and grabbed his suit jacket. Looking over at Donna, he asked, "Where am I meeting him?"_ _

__"The Mural Room," she said, handing him a file._ _

__Josh grabbed the folder and headed for the door, CJ following close behind. "Why are you meeting with Tribbey?" she asked._ _

__Josh shrugged as he made his way down the hall and through the lobby. "Something involving Britain and the EU."_ _

__"About their membership in it?_ _

__"Yeah." Josh consulted the folder in his hands and frowned. "He wants to talk to me about the legality of their membership and propose we not acknowledge them as either a member or an ally. That can't be right. Donna!"_ _

__She hurried up beside him. "There's no need to shout. I'm right here."_ _

__"Are you sure this information is correct?"_ _

__"It's what his office gave me," she said, pulling the folder from his hands and re-reading it for herself._ _

__"He wants to disavow Britain's membership in the EU and cease all relations with them?"_ _

__"No... well, yes." Her frown deepened. "This is odd."_ _

__CJ nodded. "I'll say. I got a question from Bill Kelley of the Courier about something very similar."_ _

__Josh squinted at her. "The press? Is there something going on that I don't know about, CJ?"_ _

__"I don't think so."_ _

__Pausing at the door of the Mural room, he leaned in closer to CJ and said quietly, "Talk to Sam, talk to Toby –"_ _

__"Toby's not actually here today. That's why he wasn't in the Oval with us this morning," CJ reminded him._ _

__"Fine. Then just talk to Sam. See if he has any additional information on this. I'll stall Tribbey for now, but let me make this absolutely clear – we are not jeopardizing our relationship with Britain. Donna, set up some time for me to meet with Leo."_ _

__"He isn't scheduled to be back until after lunch," she reminded him._ _

__"Schedule a meeting with him as soon as he gets back. I need to talk to him as soon as possible about this before CJ's guy has the whole press pool thinking we're about to sever relations with one of our greatest allies."_ _

~~~

The three visitors stood in the middle of the lobby, gawking at the rush of people moving past them.

Well, mostly it was Rose who gawked, as she adjusted to the fact that she was standing in the White House. Somehow it was even more intimidating than 10 Downing Street, and that was saying a lot.

Jack – in typical Jack manner – wasn't gawking so much as eyeing up all the passers-by, letting out a low whistle as a stunningly tall woman, a blond beauty and a somewhat frazzled-looking but still attractive man whizzed by, talking at about a thousand words a minute.

Rose nudged him with her shoulder. "Picking out which one you want to take out for some beer and chips later?"

Jack nudged back and smiled down at her. "Just weighing all my options."

She giggled and turned her attention to the Doctor, who stood rocking back and forth on his heels, his usual goofy grin firmly in place. She was about to ask what their next step was when a tall red-head came rushing through a set of double doors and collided solidly with the Doctor.

"Hello!" he greeted her as he steadied her with a hand on the shoulder.

The woman let out a little whoosh of embarrassed laughter. "I'm sorry. I didn't see you there. Leo's always telling me, 'Pay attention!' and I guess he keeps saying it so that this doesn't happen, but now that it has…"

"Quite all right," the Doctor said, with a hand still on her shoulder.

She stopped babbling and peered at the strange man in front of her. "You're British."

"Yes. Yes, I am," the Doctor replied, still grinning. "British through and through, I am."

"You are not!" Rose grumbled quietly behind him. "Misrepresenting yourself to the American government. What's the universe comin' to these days?"

The woman continued to stare at the Doctor and didn't seem to hear her. "Are you here for the cheese meetings? Because you're not supposed to be --" Her hand flew to her mouth and she blushed.

"Yes," Jack said, stepping forward and smiling charmingly at her. "We're here for the, ah, cheese meetings." He brought her hand to his lips. "Captain Jack Harkness. And you are?"

"Margaret," she stuttered, her blush deepening.

"We were invited," he said, flipping his billfold to reveal the psychic paper.

Margaret peered closely at it. "Men in Alien Space Machines Alumni?"

Rose made a little noise and gestured frantically at Jack, who shrugged helplessly at her.

Margaret paid no attention. "I didn't think any of the groups were supposed to be here until lunch," she said, frowning.

"We weren't," Jack told her smoothly, still holding her hand. "We arrived unexpectedly and were hoping maybe we could squeeze in a tour before hand."

"The boss won't like it," Margaret muttered quietly under her breath before adding at a more normal volume, "Maybe it would be best if I just show you to the Roosevelt Room instead. You can make yourselves comfortable there while you wait for your chee—your meeting."

"Lead the way, fair lady," Jack said, bowing with a little flourish and releasing her hand.

~~~

The first clue Sam had that anyone was following him down the hall was the echoing sound of explosive flatulence. The second was a voice hailing his name.

He turned around, expecting to find some junior reporter, but was surprised to find the Republican Senator from Pennsylvania instead.

"Senator Mitchel," he greeted, a polite smile plastered across his face. "What brings you to the White House today?"

"There is a dire situation brewing that I must speak to you about!"

Sam blinked. "Me?"

"You're a senior advisor to the President, aren't you?" Mitchel asked. "Why _not_ you?"

"Because – It would seem – if it's dire…" When the senator just continued to stare at him expectantly, he sighed in resignation. "What – exactly - is this dire situation?"

"Britain!" the senator exclaimed.

"Britain? But they're our allies. We haven't had any real issues with Britain since we beat them during a little thing we like to call the American Revolution."

"Nevertheless, a new situation has arisen which requires immediate attention. And you are just the man for the job."

~~~

All three of them wrinkled their noses as a heavy set man broke wind while passing the conference room.

"Do you smell that?" the Doctor asked, moving towards the door, sniffing.

Rose made a face. "Yeah. Smells like…"

"A bit of lunch not agreeing with someone," Jack joked.

"Exactly!" the Doctor declared, spinning about excitedly. "Rose, think. What does that smell remind you of?"

"My mum's old boyfriend," she grumped, putting her sleeve up to her nose in an attempt to ward off the smell

"No! Think harder."

"The cafeteria at my school?"

"Rose."

"I don't… wait! I do know that smell!"

"Am I missing something?" Jack asked.

"Yes, Jack, my boy, you are! Do you remember Margaret?"

Jack grinned. "The pretty little redhead who showed us in? Of course I do! How could I forget?"

"No, not that Margaret. Margaret Blaine! From Cardiff!"

"OH!" Jack's eyes clouded with confusion again within seconds. "But what does that have to do with this?"

" _That_ is the reason the TARDIS brought us here!"

~~~

He was crazy, Sam thought. Crazy and just a little bit scary. Still, Sam didn't think it was in his best interest to say that directly to the Senator. It would be better to diffuse the situation. Or shuffle it off on to someone else.

"If it's an international situation, you really should discuss it with Josh Lyman. He works on most of our overseas issues," Sam fibbed. "I'm sure any one of his staff would be happy to set up an appointment for you."

The senator looked nonplussed for a moment, but quickly recovered. "Excellent! But it is imperative that I speak with him _today_!" he said, punctuating his proclamation with yet another loud fart.

Sam coughed. "I'm sure that won't be a problem. Excuse me, Senator, I really would love to continue this conversation, but..." His gaze slid past the senator and settled on the three unattended visitors in the Roosevelt Room. "I have a meeting just about now. If you could just check with one of Josh's staff, I'm positive they'll manage to find a moment or two for you to speak with him."

With that, he slipped inside the conference room.

~~~

Sam had barely made it through the door when he was accosted by the older man in the room, the one with unusually large ears.

"That man, the one in the suit that you were just talking to, do you know his name?" the man asked.

Sam blinked, too surprised by the sudden question to do more than blurt out, "Morgan Mitchel?"

The Doctor nodded. "Has he worked for you long?"

"I'm sorry?" Sam asked, taken aback by both the questions themselves and the boldness with which they were being was asked.

"Has he worked for you long?" the Doctor repeated.

"I think what my friend here is trying to ask," the handsome, dark haired man said, stepping forward, "is whether he's been on staff at the White House for quite a while or whether he's new."

"He isn't on staff at all! He's a US Senator!" Sam exclaimed, frowning at the audacity of the visitors. He turned back to the Doctor. "I'm sorry, do I know you?"

"Me? Oh no, not me," he said, grinning. "I'm the Doctor."

"I'm sorry… but a Doctor of what exactly?"

"Not _a_ Doctor. The Doctor," the man replied, still smiling inanely. "Just the Doctor."

"It's sort of his name," the young woman piped up.

Sam turned to her. "And you are?"

"That's Rose," the Doctor said.

She smiled and gave Sam a little wave. "Hello there. Hi."

"And that's Jack," the Doctor continued.

The younger man winked at him and held out a hand in introduction. "Captain Jack Harkness. Nice to meet you."

Sam warily shook the other man's hand. "Sam. Sam Seaborn."

"Hell-o, Sam Seaborn."

Sam eyed him with some trepidation, then turned away and addressed the Doctor once more. "Why did you say you were here again?"

"We have an important piece of legislation to talk to you about," the Doctor said, nodding his head.

Sam looked at him doubtfully. "Really?"

"Really.

"How did you even get in here?"

"Margaret," the Doctor answered promptly. "Lovely woman, red hair, green eyes –"

"I’m familiar with her basic features," Sam interrupted, frowning. "What I meant to say is… Did you have an appointment?"

"Oh, yes! Here you go," the Doctor said, handing him the psychic paper.

Sam glanced at it briefly and frowned. "You're here to discuss school vouchers?"

For some reason, the Doctor seemed taken aback, but just for a second. 

"Yes," he said briskly. "School vouchers. Very important. Schools should be palaces! Competition should be fierce!"

Sam blinked. "Did you just say…? That's very odd. I said something very similar to a… friend… last year." He shook his head, dismissing the thought. "But didn't we clear up the school voucher issue already?" 

"Of course!" The Doctor leaned forward, looking serious. "But I know this is a topic very dear to this administration and—"

"He's a nice bit of flash, isn't he?" Rose murmured to Jack as Sam and the Doctor droned on.

"He certainly is," Jack agreed. "What do you think, do I stand a chance?"

Rose considered him. "Nice suit. Very nice suit. No ring. A bit standoffish, but... I think there's a possibility."

"Why, Miss Tyler, are you implying that I wouldn't be a good catch?" he said, smiling down at her.

"Now, Captain Harkness, why ever would you think that?" she asked, smiling back.

"Well, Doctor," Sam said, a bit more loudly than necessary, clearly hoping the Doctor would take the hint. "I can certainly look into this, but I think you really need to talk to our Chief of Staff, who, as I'm sure Margaret explained –"

"Margaret, yes, that lovely woman who showed us in!" the Doctor proclaimed.

"Ahem, yes, well..." Sam paused, and then inspiration struck, "I'm sure as Leo's not available right now, you could meet with our Deputy Chief of Staff. He can look into this until Leo returns and you have a chance to talk with him directly."

"That's all I ask." The Doctor shook his hand. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Seaborn."

"And you." Sam stuck out his hand. "Doctor. Rose." After a brief hesitation, he offered his hand to Jack, too. "Captain."

Jack shook it and then cocked his head to the side. "Tell me, have you ever considered the military?"

Sam looked uncomfortable, wondering where Jack was going with this line of questioning. "Um… no."

"You should," Jack told him while blatantly checking out his rear end. "I think you'd do wonders for the uniform."

Sam blushed.

"I'm... that is... you should probably... I'll talk to Josh, er, the Deputy Chief of Staff," he stammered, as he backed away from the trio and towards the door. "He has a much closer relationship to the President and Leo and - I'm going now."

~~~

"Josh!" Donna called from her desk, "Sam wants to see you!"

"Can you tell him I'm free in a half hour? I'm kind of in the middle of… something," Josh finished lamely as Sam appeared in the doorway. "Why does she even bother to tell me if she's just going to send you right in anyway?"

"Why do the two of you do anything?" Sam wondered aloud.

Josh shook his head, clicked off his TV and gestured for Sam to sit. "Since you're already here, I have a thing I need to talk to you about."

"Funny. I have a thing I need to talk to you about."

"You first," Josh said, willing to put the topic of CJ's reporter on the back burner for the moment.

"There's this group of visitors in the Roosevelt Room –"

"No! Absolutely not! I am not taking your cheese meeting," Josh told him while shaking his vehemently.

"No! No, they aren't a cheese meeting," Sam assured him. "At least I don't think they are. They're British. Do we even –"

Josh's head snapped up. "Did you just say British?"

Sam looked at him curiously. "Yes. Why?"

"CJ had a thing this morning and then Tribbey – no, never mind. This can't be related," Josh dismissed, shaking his head. "What was it about your group?"

"I'm pretty sure they're here to see Leo, which is ridiculous, because there's no way Margaret didn't know Leo wasn't going to be here this morning. So I'm not sure why she would have scheduled a meeting with them, but it's clear they had some sort of appointment and they've come all the way from England and –"

"Sam?"

Sam stopped and smiled apologetically at him. "Sorry."

"They were supposed to meet with Leo?"

Sam nodded. "If you could just meet with them for a few minutes…"

Josh looked at his watch, trying to judge how accurate it was. "I can give them five minutes. Or fifteen. I'm not quite sure – check with Donna."

"Thanks," Sam said, getting up to leave. He paused at the door. "Oh! You said you had a thing?"

"It can wait."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah. Let me take care of this thing first. You going to be around in about half an hour?"

"I should be."

"Good. I'll come find you then."


	2. The Plot Thickens

"Can I go?" Leaning casually in his doorway, Donna watched as Josh grabbed his suit jacket and shrugged it on.

"Go where?" he asked, feigning ignorance.

"To your meeting in the Roosevelt room."

"How do you…You shouldn't be listening in on my conversations," he chided.

Donna shrugged. "It was Sam. Besides, I work less than ten feet away from your office. It's difficult not to overhear things."

"You should try."

"I do."

"Try harder."

"Fine."

She continued to look at Josh expectantly while Josh studiously tried to ignore her penetrating stare. It was less than ten seconds before he gave in. "Ok, what? What do you need?"

"Can I go?" she repeated.

"You want to go to this meeting? *I* don't even want to go to this meeting!"

She shrugged again. "Maybe."

He squinted at her, wondering what her angle was. "Why?"

"Why not?"

"Because you don't volunteer for these things unless there's something in it for you," he said suspiciously.

"There's nothing," she demurred.

"Donna…"

"Fine," she said, pushing away from the doorjamb to stand directly in front of him. "Sam mentioned they were from England."

"So?"

"So one of them could be related to the royal family."

He cast a sideways glance at her. "There are approximately 50 million British citizens living in England alone. You really think one of these three might be nobility?"

"Well, no," she admitted. "But they could be. Besides, British accents are dreamy."

"What are you, twelve and about to meet the Beatles for the first time?"

She pouted. "Josh…"

"You can come," he said, giving in. "But there will be absolutely no flirting," he added sternly as he left his office and headed for the Roosevelt room, Donna following quickly behind.

He could hear the disapproval in her voice as she defended herself. "I don't flirt with random strangers, Josh."

"Need I remind you of the incident with Lord John?"

"He found me charming!"

"He thought you had a screw loose!"

"He was enamored."

Josh snorted. "He was certainly something. Seriously, Donna, no flirting."

"Fine."

"We're going in there, listening to whatever they have to tell us, then getting out." Hand on the door handle, he turned back to face her, intent on getting his point across. "In, out. Got it?"

She nodded. "Got it."

"No smiling charmingly, no simpering looks."

"I said I got it," Donna huffed.

"Just so we're clear."

"We're clear."

"Then let's go," he said, pushing open the door.

~~~

"Hi, I'm Josh Lyman and this is my assistant-"

"Donna Moss," she said, pushing her way past Josh and smiling guilelessly at the handsome young man who stepped forward to meet her. He was smiling broadly and his look, while not quite something that could be called lascivious, was certainly interested.

"Captain Jack Harkness," he said, taking her hand. "Nice to meet-"

"Donna!"

"Jack!"

"What?" they replied in unison, as they both turned towards their companions.

Rose snickered.

"What did I say about flirting?" Josh grumbled.

Donna put her hands on her hips. "I said hello. He said hello. There was absolutely no-"

"Actually," Jack interjected with a wicked grin, "There was a little flirting."

"See? There was!" Josh said, glaring at her.

"I was referring to myself," Jack inserted.

Josh ignored him and continued on, "You were practically drooling, Donna!"

"I was not!" she retorted while trying to discreetly swipe the corner of her mouth. "Saying hello to a White House visitor is not at all the same thing as flirting."

"Swooning then."

"Or swooning!"

"It was as bad as when Lord John was here," Josh insisted. "It's really just about him not getting any attention," Donna explained to Jack, shooting a smirking sidelong glance at Josh. "He really doesn't like it when people don't notice him, and since you didn't immediately -"

"Trust me, I did," Jack interjected with a flirtatious grin. "Notice him, that is. He's extremely noticeable. If you hadn't so graciously stepped forward, I might have said hello to him first."

Josh and Donna both stared at him. The Doctor merely rolled his eyes.

It was Donna who recovered first. "Do you mean…?"

"You are an attractive woman," Jack admitted, "But he is one _very_ attractive man."

The Doctor coughed. "Right then," he said, moving to stand between them and Jack. "Enough of that. We've got a little problem. Or more accurately, _you've_ got a little problem."

"Yeah," Josh said, peering around the Doctor. "That guy."

"Jack? No, not Jack. Jack's not a problem at all. No, your problem is that you've got Slitheen."

"Slitheen? Would they, uh, be anything like snakes?" Josh asked, squirming uncomfortably and inching towards the nearest chair so he could get to higher ground if need be.

"Oh, no," the Doctor answered, smiling. "They look just like you and me. Great big lumbering humans. And that's how they hide."

Rose pushed her way forward and interpreted. "They look just like you and me now – well, mostly like us, anyways - but it's all just a disguise, yeah? Underneath, they're these giant, lizard-like things with claws and-"

"Lizards? Claws?" Donna inched her way closer to Josh.

Rose smiled apologetically at Donna. "They look very human. Don't worry about the lizard thing."

~~~

It took Josh about two seconds to excuse himself and make his way towards Sam's office, Donna hurrying after him.

"Sam!"

"Josh, I don't think-"

"Sam!"

Donna tugged at his arm until he stopped and turned to look at her. "I don't think they were joking."

He stared at her as if she were crazy. "Donna! Honestly, it's a cheese assignment. There's no way those people are serious visitors to the White House. Aliens? Really? I'm surprised they managed to get in here at all with that story."

"But what if it's not a story?" she asked. "Think about it… You have to admit the thing with Tribbey, CJ's reporter _and_ Mitchel all discussing a break with Britain is very unusual. You said so yourself. And then we just happen to have three visitors – two of whom are British – in the Roosevelt Room talking about an alien invasion?"

"That doesn’t mean there's any such thing as aliens! Let alone aliens in the White House." He turned and pushed his way through the doors into the Communications bullpen. "SAM!"

Sam poked his head out his office door. "Josh? Is there a problem?"

"I just have a feeling that this isn't a coincidence," Donna told him.

"A feeling?" Josh asked incredulously.

"Yes," she replied stubbornly.

"If we made all our decisions based on your feelings –" He stopped and addressed Sam directly. "Sam, the visitors in the Roosevelt Room – are they a scheduled appointment?"

Sam took off his glasses and peered curiously at Josh. "Aren't they? They said that Margaret had let them in."

"Doesn't matter."

"Wait a minute. If they're not here for - _are_ they one of Leo's Cheese groups?"

"We don't know," Josh admitted. "Donna has a _feeling_."

"Hey!"

Sam turned to her. "What kind of feeling?"

"Just a feeling. If they were a legitimate Cheese group, wouldn't they have asked for something by now? Weapons to fight the aliens, a national registry to certify human origin –"

"Did you just say… aliens?" Sam asked, gulping.

Josh was the one to answer. "Yeah, they were going on about lizard things hiding as humans or some other nonsense."

"Ignoring that," Donna interrupted, "If they were a legitimate Cheese group they would have asked for something."

"She does have a point," Sam conceded, looking at Josh.

"So far they haven't asked _for_ anything," Donna said. "They've asked questions, they've talked to and around us, they've made – yes, I admit it – ridiculous accusations, but not once have they asked _for_ anything."

"So you're saying… you think they're legitimate?" Josh asked.

"I think _they_ think they're legitimate."

"Hey, hey, the gangs all here," CJ sang out from the doorway.

Josh spun around. "Dammit, CJ, we need to get you a bell!"

She ignored his suggestion. "Do you have a minute?"

"We're actually right in the middle of something."

She took in the sight of him, Sam and Donna, all with various looks of concern on their faces. "So I can see. But you know the thing we were talking about this morning?"

"Your mysterious police call box?" he asked, smirking.

Sam looked curiously between them. "Like in London?"

"Yes, Samuel, exactly like the kind in London." She turned back to Josh. "No, you idiot. Tribbey and his sanctions against Britain, and my reporter and his story?"

"Yeah. So?"

"So… I was just accosted by Senator Mitchel in my office. He wants to bar Britain from the EU as well."

Sam's eyes widened. "You too?"

"Me _too_?"

"He approached me about the same thing outside the Roosevelt Room."

"And you didn't bother to tell me?" Josh demanded.

"It was around the same time that - I think Donna is right. There is something definitely going on with this trio of visitors."

"Trio of visitors?" CJ asked. "Anyone care to fill me in?"

Sam piped up. "When I was talking to the senator, he kept insisting that we needed to make a decision about our relationship with Britain right now and - have you noticed he seems to have a bit of a flatulence problem? – Anyways, I spotted some visitors in the Roosevelt Room and ducked inside to get away from the good senator. As soon as I said hello, they started asking all these questions. Who was the senator, had I known him long, what was he so animatedly talking to me about and…" Noticing CJ's look, he stopped. "You wanted the short version, didn’t you?"

"Yes, but now that I have the long one… Are you saying that these visitors are somehow related to this sudden anti-British sentiment?"

"We don't know," Josh said. "But it's definitely something we should to find out."

~~~

"Hello again!" the Doctor greeted as Josh, Sam, CJ and Donna came hurrying back to the Roosevelt Room.

"Ok, let's get one thing straight," Josh stated, hands on hips. "I'm not saying I believe there really is any such thing as a… Slitheen. But if there were - why are they here and how do we get rid of them?"

The Doctor grinned cheerily at him. "I don't know."

"You don't _know_?" Josh said, incredulous.

"Nope. Not one bit." The Doctor tilted his head to the side. "But if I had to guess -"

"Guess," Josh demanded.

"I'd say they were planning on destroying the world," he said.

"Great," Josh grumbled. He turned to Donna. "See, Donna? This is what your feelings get you."

"Hey now, there's no need to take it out on her." Jack's smile was definitely less than charming as he came to stand between Josh and Donna.

"You," Josh said, stabbing a finger in Jack's direction, "don't get to concern yourself with her."

"Uh oh. This is not going to be pretty," Sam whispered to CJ.

"You're telling me. Who was the last person that dared to get between them?" she whispered back.

"I'm not sure... McNulty during the campaign?"

"No, there was that guy from the Times a few months ago."

Sam snapped his fingers. "That's right. How long did that last before Josh interfered?"

"I think maybe a week. At most," CJ said, rolling her eyes.

"I'm surprised he let it go on for that long."

They were interrupted from their conversation by Rose, who let out a shrill whistle, startling the whole room into silence. "We've got Slitheen roaming about, the possible destruction of the world, and you two -" she said, glaring at both Jack and Josh, "are havin' a pissing contest over poor Donna, who looks about as embarrassed as can be over there." She shot a sympathetic look at Donna. "Do you think we might get back to discussing the Slitheen now?

"Just right, Rose," the Doctor said, beaming at her.

"Thank you."

"So," he said, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. "We've got the Slitheen. We've got the White House. What else have we got?" he asked, looking at all of the rooms occupants in turn.

"We've got a Senator," Rose said.

The Doctor nodded. "What else?"

"The press," Sam chimed in. Jack nodded approvingly at him and Sam looked away, feeling on odd mixture of flattered and embarrassed.

"A Senator and the press. What else?"

"Oh!" CJ exclaimed, catching on. "We've got a big, blue box on the corner of Pennsylvania Avenue!"

"Oh that - that's mine," the Doctor said. CJ looked a bit deflated. "But that's good. Means you're noticing all the inconsistent things. What else?

Donna raised her hand. "Questions about the continued relationship between the US and Britain," she offered tentatively.

Josh glared at her. "Donna!"

"What?" she asked, frowning at him. "They obviously know more than we do at this point. What harm does it do?"

"We don't know if they really are who they say they are. Who knows what harm it could do?!"

The Doctor ignored him and smiled at Donna. "Fantastic! What else?"

"Head counsel," Sam added.

Hands braced on the conference table, the Doctor recapped all of their answers. "So we've got a Senator, the press, head counsel and - " he smiled at Donna, "a plan to destroy relations between two countries. Yup. They're definitely planning on destroying the world."

"But how?" Sam asked.

"By starting a war."

CJ gulped. "A war?"

The Doctor nodded. "Yup. You lot, you like war, makes you feel important."

"It does not!" Sam protested.

"Oh, but it does! And once they've started a war, well…"

"Wait, a second," Josh interrupted. The Doctor looked at him expectantly. "You want us to believe there are a bunch of aliens running around Washington DC attempting to start a war and we're just supposed to believe you?"

The Doctor shrugged. "Believe me, don't believe me – that's up to you." He leaned in close to Josh, his look menacing. "But that doesn't mean that the threat isn't real. And if you don't listen to me then the whole planet could be in trouble."

Josh met his look, glare for glare. "Now, listen here, you big-eared, British freak –"

The Doctor looked affronted. "Oy! The big ear thing I can understand, but freak? That's taking it a bit far."

"You think? Because there's a few other –"

"He's not always like this," Rose explained in an aside to Donna.

"The Doctor?" Donna asked dryly. "Because Josh can be -"

"OH!," Rose said in sudden understanding. "Are you saying your Josh –"

"Oh, no," Donna laughed, shaking her head. "Definitely not _my_ Josh."

"Really?"

Donna nodded. "Really."

Rose looked at her skeptically. "All right then. But what I said, about the Doctor? He's not always like this," she said, pausing before adding with a cheeky grin, "Well, maybe he is, but he's harmless. Mostly."

Donna grinned back. "So is Josh. Mostly."

~~~

"Ok, fine," Josh huffed after several minutes of arguing with the Doctor. "Assuming you're right – "

"I am."

Josh glared at him. "Assuming you are and there's an alien race trying to destroy the world… how do we go about getting rid of this race?"

"Technically, the Slitheen aren’t a race. They're a family," the Doctor corrected. "From -" He stopped and looked expectantly at Rose.

"Raxacoricofallapatorius," she proclaimed triumphantly, turning to Jack and high-fiving him.

He grinned at her. "Exactly"

Josh rolled his eyes. "So how do we get rid of these… Raxa-whatevers?"

"Raxacoricofallapatorius," the Doctor corrected. "And you don't. At least not without my help."

Rose turned excitedly to the Doctor. "Couldn’t we just turn them into eggs? Like Margaret?

"Margaret's an egg?" Josh yelped.

Donna kicked him in the shin. "I’m pretty sure she's not talking about our Margaret."

"Are you sure? Because Margaret's been known to do some pretty strange – Ow! Donna!"

Rose grinned. "I like your style, Donna Moss."

"You would," Josh muttered, glaring at Donna and rubbing at the leg she had kicked. He turned to the Doctor. "What did she mean about turning them into eggs?"

"Doesn't matter," the Doctor said, dismissing his question. "That was one Slitheen. We're talking about 3 or more. "

CJ gulped. "More?"

"Well, probably not," he conceded. "But we don't really know, do we?"

"All right. But if we can't… turn them into eggs," Sam stated with doubt in his voice, "What can we do?"

"Vinegar," The Doctor said.

"Vinegar," Rose echoed, grinning. "When they showed up at the flat, my mate used vinegar."

"And what would that do?" CJ asked hesitantly.

"Makes them go all splooey," Rose said.

"Splooey?"

"You know," Rose said, miming something exploding with her hands. "Splooey."

She was just about to say more when the door to the room opened and a sizable man walked in, bringing with him the unmistakable smell of rotten eggs.


	3. In Which Our Heroes are in Jeopardy

"Ah, Joshua," Lionel Tribbey greeted, cricket bat in hand. "I was just on my way to see –" He stopped abruptly when he noticed the Doctor standing on the other side of the room. Inhaling deeply he asked, "Do I know you?"

"Nope," the Doctor answered. "Not a bit."

Tribbey inhaled again and peered intently at him. "Are you sure?"

"Yup. Pretty sure."

"Curious. You smell…" Tribbey shook his head and then turned back to Josh, smiling amiably. "I was on my way to your office. My friend Morgan Mitchell stopped by to see me this morning. We had some things we needed to discuss with you."

Several occupants of the room shifted uncomfortably at the mention and Tribbey picked up on the changed atmosphere in the room. "Joshua?"

"We're not going to war," he blurted.

Tribbey chuckled. "Now, Joshua…"

"We know what you are and why you're here," Josh admitted brashly.

Tribbey's attitude immediately changed and he pinned Josh with a dark look. "You know _nothing_ ," he hissed.

"We know you're here to destroy the planet and sell off the sludge that's left," The Doctor chimed in.

"You… I _do_ know you! You're the Doctor," he proclaimed, inhaling deeply once more.

"Hello again!"

Tribbey stepped to the door and motioned for Mitchel and Kelley to join him in the room. "Come in, my brothers. The Doctor is here and he has exposed our plans to these mewling Earthlings."

The men stood beside Tribbey and the White House staffers watched in fascinated horror as the shed their human disguises.

"They sort of do look like giant lizards," Sam whispered to Rose.

"WHAT?" the largest one roared. "We are not lizards! We are Slitheen, of the great planet -"

"Now, now, brother," the one who had previously worn Trbbey's skin said. "They are ignorant. Do not focus on that. Focus instead on their fear. Doesn't it smell delicious, Brom Nuss Birm Nilralen-Slir Sogrene?"

"It does."

"They're so human, wearing their filthy fear so blatantly on the outside. Wait - what's this?" The Slitheen sniffed and pointed its talon towards Josh. "This one smells different." He got uncomfortably close and sniffed again. "He's not afraid for himself. He's afraid for HER," he cackled, setting his sights on Donna.

"Hey, look over there!" Josh exclaimed.

It wasn't much, but it was enough. As soon as the Slitheen turned its head, Josh managed to push Donna behind him and move them both back a few feet.

The Slitheen rolled it's massive head back in their direction. "Do you really think your paltry attempts at subterfuge can stop us?"

"No," Jack announced from the other side of the room. "But this can," he said, aiming the gun that had been strapped to his ankle at the creature. "It's a miniature Polarized Flux Laser, which can reduce you to dust in seconds."

"He's bluffing."

"Do you really want to test me and find out? Now… let my friends go."

The Slitheen shuffled to the side of the room, allowing just enough room for the Doctor and others to slide past them towards the door. Jack followed slowly, keeping his laser focused on them. "Now we're going to walk out this door and you're not going to go anywhere."

"Do you really think that will work?" Donna asked nervously.

"Not at all," Jack told her grinning. "But I just bought us at least an extra minute or two."

"A minute or two?" Josh scoffed. "Nice job, _Captain_. That'll get us nowhere."

Jack dared a sideways glance at him. "Did you have a better idea?"

"Doctor! What do we do now?" Rose asked.

"Run, Rose. We run."

~~~

Once out of the room, they split up, hoping the Slitheen would split up too. Sam and CJ headed in one direction; Donna, Rose, Jack and the Doctor headed in another. Josh followed Donna's group, unwilling to let her spend even a moment alone in the Captain's presence.

"This way!" Donna yelled, grabbing Rose's hand and pulling her towards the stairs to the cafeteria. 

"Donna! We should be heading up to the President's secure apartments. Or out to the gates. Or anywhere but down!" Josh complained.

"Up is always the worst direction in horror movies. Besides the Doctor mentioned vinegar," she said, stubbornly continuing to lead their group down.

"Right," the Doctor confirmed, smiling broadly.

"The President and First Lady were talking about the annual Easter egg hunt last week." She glanced back at the three visitors. "It's where the White House invites --"

"Donna! We're being hunted by creepy Slitheen things and you're talking about a children's Easter egg hunt? How the hell --"

"Let her talk," Jack interrupted.

"Thank you," Donna said, shooting him a wide smile. Josh glared at both of them but Donna ignored his look and continued to explain. "As I was saying, they were talking about the egg hunt. Which means right now there are gallons of vinegar downstairs in the cafeteria waiting to be used to dye eggs."

"Donna, you are brilliant!" Jack exclaimed, grabbing her and giving her a loud smacking kiss. Donna blushed and Josh continued glaring at Jack, who just kept on grinning. "Sorry, pal. Maybe next time you'll be the lucky one to get kissed."

"By you or Donna?" Rose sniggered.

"Does it matter?" Jack asked with a wink.

"Slitheen!" Josh reminded them, and they raced off.

~~~

"Ainsley's office!" Sam exclaimed, grabbing CJ's arm and tugging her in that direction.

"How the hell is Ainsley, in her five foot three glory, going to save us from that?" CJ exclaimed, pointing down the hallway from which they had just come.

"The Doctor said vinegar, right?"

"Vinegar, Sam, not Fresca or muffins!"

Sam shook his head. "Ainsley's got a whole fridge full of stuff down there! She might have something with vinegar in it.."

"Might doesn't mean will, and-" The lumbering Slitheen turned the corner and CJ stifled a scream. "Ok. Ainsley's office it is."

Sam and CJ raced down the stairs and took a sharp right into Ainsley's office, slamming the door shut behind them. CJ turned to Sam, who was already opening the door of the refrigerator. "What does she have in there?"

"Pickles, for one thing," he replied, pulling the jar out and setting in on the desk. "Yogurt, Fresca, watermelon... watermelon?"

There was a loud bang against the door and CJ moved to block it with her body. "Focus, Samuel! What else does she have in there with vinegar?"

"I'm checking, CJ! You think this is easy? The woman has enough food in here to feed an army for three years!"

"You think holding the door shut when a 300 pound monster is pushing against it is easy?"

"Fair point. Aha!" he exclaimed, rummaging deeper. "Salad dressing!"

"Please tell me it's a viniagrette."

"It's a vinegerette."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Get it over here!"

He grabbed the salad dressing, flipped open the lid and then handed the jar of pickles off to CJ.

"Ready?" CJ asked.

He nodded. "Ready."

"Here we go..." She let go of the door handle and the Slitheen came bursting through. It had barely hissed it's first word when Sam let loose with a stream of vinagrette and CJ threw the open jar of pickles at it.

"Aaaaaaaghhhhhhhhh-"

Sploosh!

"Eww."

"That's disgusting."

"That's a dead Slitheen," CJ said, slumping down on the floor and leaning back against Ainsley's slime covered desk. "And I never thought I'd say this, but... thank God for Ainsley and her obsession with food."

"Amen."


	4. All's Well That Ends Well

"Geez! What the hell happened to you, CJ?" Josh asked.

"Slitheen," she replied wearily as she plopped down into the nearest chair in the Mural Room. "But don't worry about the fact that Sam and I were on our own in the basement, almost sliced and diced to death by some horrid green alien. Oh no, you just sit there in your meticulously clean suit and gloat at my expense."

Josh looked down at his wrinkled, slimy suit and smirked. "Meticulous?"

She looked him up and down. "Now that you mention it, you do look a little worse for wear. I assume since you're not in a frantic, panicked state that Donna is fine?"

"Yeah."

"So where is she?" CJ asked.

Josh nodded his head down the hall. "Ladies room. She said slime didn't become her."

"So say we all," she grumbled. She glanced around the room, noticing that in addition to Donna, their three visitors were also missing. 

She raised a brow at Josh. "They left. The Doctor said something about Sontarans and Rose said something about Mr. Potato Head and I decided I just didn't care anymore," he replied wearily. "Where's Sam?"

"Down in the basement trying to explain to Ainsley why she no longer has any pickles in her fridge. Remind me never to get between that woman and her food. I'm not sure she's even noticed the state of her office yet."

"I'm never going to get this slime out my hair," Donna pouted as she walked back into the room, swiping at the ends of her hair with a flimsy paper towel. "Josh, I'm going to need your credit card so I can make an appointment with Armand to fix it."

"Yeah, I'll get right on that."

 

"Oh, I love Armand," CJ sighed. "The things that man can do with his hands."

"I know, right? The last time I was there-"

"If you ladies are done?" Josh grumbled, and both women turned to frown at him. He scraped at a small glop of green on his jacket. "I'm never going to get this suit clean, even if I fork over a small fortune to my dry cleaner."

Sam wandered in about that time. "That suit? I think it's a lost cause." He looked more closely at Josh. "Hey, isn't that your special Tuesday suit?"

Donna smirked. "It was."

"Donna!"

"What? It's your special Tuesday suit. Or, you know, your special Joey Lucas suit."

"It's not! How many times do I have to tell you -"

It was at that exact moment that Leo walked into the room. "What the hell is going on in here?" 

Four heads swiveled around and not one of them said a word.

~~~

"Do you mean to tell me that there were no less than three aliens posing as US Senators –"

"Actually, one was posing as head counsel," Sam interjected.

"- the Doctor was in the White House, _and_ the country very nearly didn't survive Armageddon and no one thought to call me?!" Leo roared, glaring at each and every one of them.

"To be fair, we had no idea who the Doctor was," Josh said.

Leo pinned Josh with a look. "Only very nearly the sole head of UNIT."

"Unit?"

"The United Nations Intelligence Taskforce," Leo translated, shaking his head.

"The UN? Cool!"

Leo's gaze swept the room. "Do _not_ tell me that none of you lot knew that."

"UNIT?" Sam asked. "Is that at all related to Torchwood?"

Leo stared at him, dumbfounded. "You're telling me you've never heard of UNIT, but you've heard of Torchwood?"

"Well, yes," Sam admitted sheepishly. "When I met with Civilians for Mars Colonization last month, they-"

"Oh for the love of God. No," Leo growled. "No, Torchwood is not – why am I explaining this? Torchwood is another story entirely."

"Leo, we had no–" CJ started.

"Do _not_ , I implore you, end that sentence, CJ."

"In my defense, I was too busy fending off advances from the Captain to catch half of what the Doctor was saying," Sam tried to explain.

CJ shot him a look of disgust. 

"I think he was too busy paying attention to the Captain's advances," Donna sniggered.

"No more than you," Josh grumbled.

"Or you," CJ was quick to add. "You were shooting daggers at him the entire time."

"Et tu, CJ?"

"Hey, don't blame me because –"

"Enough!" Leo shouted.

All four of them shut up immediately and looked at him guiltily.

"Leo, we didn't – "

"But don't you want to –"

"It really was –"

"OUT! All of you – out! And not another word about this… incident."

They nodded in unison and filed towards the door, CJ pausing briefly in her retreat to turn back to Leo. "You know, the press is going to want to know what happened to Tribbey."

Leo sighed. "Tell them anything you want – he had health issues, he had a sudden yen to visit Tahiti, anything. But if I hear a single thing that even _hints_ at aliens…"

She nodded. "Gotcha."

"And CJ?"

"Yes?"

"Next time you see something unusual suddenly appear on Pennsylvania Avenue? Ignore it. For the love of God, ignore it."

"Sure thing, Boss."

 

~End~

**Author's Note:**

> Much thanks to Caz for suggestions on the timeline, Tori for help on the title, Yana for the beta and the chocolate… And all the people who listened to me whine and encouraged me over the past several years while I hemmed and hawed and let real life get in the way of finishing this.


End file.
